Today was my friend's birthday, and me being the random person I am, decided to go to her house this morning. So I showed up at 7:00 a.m. with an ice-cream cake, a birthday giftbag full of gifts, (surprised?) and a spinning birthday candle that shoots a sparkler like firework from it (available now at Albertsons).
I rang the doorbell and hid around the corner hoping to scare the begeebers out of her. The only part I messed up on was the fact I jumped out before she opened the door.... FAIL X. After I went inside, I gave her a letter and told her to read it and not stop until she came to the very end. When my friend started reading it, I began to get out the cake and firework candle so I could set it up. She was on the last paragraph of the letter when I was finished, the paragraph read and I quote... "Now your probably asking yourself, (insert my name here) why did you write 2 pages worth of words? You don't do that sort of stuff unless your forced to. You may have other questions too. Now let me answer all those questions with a question. refer to (insert my name here) for question." She put the paper down and just looked at me funny like I was some insane maniac. I then ask "well would you like a small slice of cake or a big slice?" holding the cake right in front of her face.
But before we could cut it, we went outside to her patio to light the candle. Now I didn't read the instructions before hand, so it was basically like trying to get a kindergartner to defuse a bomb. The only difference between me and a 5 yr old was the fact I am smarter, and let's be honest, any nut job knows that you ALWAYS cut the red wire. She handed me the box of matches, lit it, and stuck it in the middle of the candle. Now this candle is actually plastic shaped like a flower and theres really about 7 candles in it. There is also a wire your supposed to light to start the firework, but sadly enoug I didn't see it. So there's just a giant flame going on-top of this ice-cream cake meant to serve about 3 people and I don't want her to blow out the candles for fear the firework will go off in her face.
So for about 5 minutes we just stared at it. Let me tell you it was like trying to play fetch with a dead cat... nothing happend. After about another 5 minutes my friend noticed that the wax on the candles was gone and that the flame was melting the plastic, and dripping right on the cake! Poor cake. After about a minute of watching plastic melt, the firework finally went off, only to make the fire even bigger. Me not wanting to be responsible for the loss of her house ran to the hose, turned it one, and dowsed the cake with freezing cold water. The only logical thing to do in my opinion. After that little mishap, we had to carve the cake to where we would not be digesting plastic every bite.
Lesson learned from this?
Well there isn't one really, but if I had to say, it'd be this... If your gonna celebrate your friends birthday at 7:00 a.m. you should have your friend blow out the candle right away to avoid any cake abuse charges.
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