Why I Didn't Finish Essay
You are probably wondering why I didn't turn in my history project on time. Am I right? Well if I'm right, let me tell you whose fault it is, because in a way, it isn't mine. It's the Fed-ex guys fault! Now let me tell you why it's his fault, starting from the beginning. Here I am at the mail box getting out my new Softball Sales Magazine, just waiting to see what's new inside. So I open the magazine to find they got the new resistance parachutes designed to help you gain speed for running and whatnot . I then rushed inside to get my money, then ran my little heart out up the stairs to the computer room, which was where my dad was sitting. I told him how much I needed it before soccer or track starts. My dad then orders it and puts it on rush delivery, so it should've been here any day after that right? (insert buzzer noise here) Wrong! It got here two weeks after we ordered it. Now right about now you are probably wondering what this has to do with me not doing my project. Well this is how, if I got that on time I could have ceased my excitement about using it with still plenty of time for the project. So since it came late, I was distracted from doing homework, and why? Because the Fed-ex guy dropped off the parachute too late. Yes I could have used it after I was done with the project, but then it loses its touch of new and exciting, you know what I mean? That was poor deciding on my part. Never again will I let the powerful, mystical, athletic, and intriguing ways of a resistance parachute over whelm me with its awesomeness ever again. But let's not forget who's real fault it was... the Fed-ex guy.
Now there was more than one participant in me not doing the project. The other fault is none other than, the internet! I know I had all of my research in my history book, but it didn't have everything I needed to describe thoroughly with geography and stuff like that. So I had a good reason to be on the internet. The reason I didn't finish is, because when I turn on my computer the news of the day pops up. When it popped up it had 10 weird jobs that pay 100,000 dollars. I was fascinated by it, so I clicked on it. Let me tell you this, it wasn't that great, a waste of my time really, although I did learn that people get paid 100,000 dollars to put on scuba gear and retrieve golf balls out of ponds.
Now after that let down, I went back to researching, and I stumbled upon a great information website. As I was scrolling down I saw this ad that said, "are you smarter than Miley Cyrus?" So of course I clicked on it. That was a total let down too, only because I had to give out personal information. I never did find out if I was smarter than her. I went back to researching after the incident, only to stumble across a fantastic website chalk full of information. I then clicked on the link and as I was reading the first line a thing pops up on my computer saying "send this song to your cell-phone." Now that left me thinking
"What song are you people talking about? It sure can't be the
information I'm reading, because I am positive that won't make the top ten list of
anything."
Towards the end of this little adventure, I tried to look-up facts about the cascades. As I was looking this up an ad for Yolk's Market just out of nowhere pops up, saying something about buy a papaya get a pineapple free. Now dear reader, let us reflect upon what the topic of the page is, and what it has to do with free pineapples... Hmmm. Nothing. I mean really, who is going to be looking up stuff about the cascades, sees the ad, and gets up just to get a free pineapple if you buy a papaya. I personally think they should put that ad on a their own website. Sooooo in a nutshell, that ad distracted me from doing the work I needed to do.
Okay so right now I have to tell you a secret. Those reasons you just read, were just the minor reasons. Yes that's right, there was even a bigger culprit involved! That culprits name is... Jacquelyn. Yes I know, I know, "she's your friend, why would she make it so you couldn't finish your project?" and " She doesn't look like she could hurt a fly." Well guess what dear reader? She did make it so I didn't finish, it was all part of her evil diabolical plan to make it so I would listen or do whatever she was saying at the time. (Which would have me distracted from doing my work.) Even if I try my hardest to avoid doing what she says, she finds a way , because that's just the type of dark, twisted genius Jacquelyn is. You would think that me not sitting next to her would make it easier for me right? Wrong, she still has me doing all the stuff she had me do in the past, eating all her mints, asking her for jolly ranchers, using up all her hand sanitizer, having her sharpen my pencil, putting my belongings in her locker for the longest time because mine is full. Only this time she's making it a lot harder, by slapping me whenever I try to use up the hand sanitizer, making me sharpen my own pencil, and keeping an eye on me whenever I'm near her locker. She's also tried to convince me to stop doing all this stuff for her, and saying that maybe I'm going a little too far. Gosh, make the victim seem like the crazy one. But I know that deep down inside, she really wants me to do all those favors for her.
It's a bunny rabbit! -> (\_/)(='.'=)
c(")_(")
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